Currently:
Listening to: Reading: Feeling:February 15, 2010
Entry #3
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Entry #2
Listening to: GorillazReading: Let the record show by Sarah Schulman
Feeling: Content
Between the lack of attention span, politics, & overall devastation on the internet, I have realized it is doing me more harm than good. I am thinking of switching to a flip phone so I can be more present, but I know if I dont eas into it that I will probably just give up. Starting with babysteps, I deleted IG & FB off of my phone and feel better already. Maybe a bit out of the loop now, but I think I will learn to become comfortable with the boredom and fear of missing out. I hope the boredom leads me to more creative joys and real connections with the world around me again.. I can always access the internet via my PC instead, but everyone having immediate access to me (and vice versa) isn't very sustainable I feel like. Spent the last few days off my phone and writing lists of what goals and habits I want in my life, and how to get there realistically. Lists of books I want to read, art projects I want to work on, and things I want to learn. One of the things I want to learn is HTML coding,my knowledge is limited to being on myspace in middle school, lol. Taking templates and editing them, like i've been doing for this website. I hope to learn more and get better at it so I have more creative control over how things look on here!
Sept. 28, 2025
First Entry
Listening to: The sounds of rainReading: Let the record show by Sarah Schulman
Feeling: Thoughtful
This has been a very rough year, but all for the best. I got out of a 4 year relationship that wasn't good for me all while also getting laid off from a job that made me miserable. While dealing with health issues, too. Spent the last 2-3 years crying nearly daily and struggling to find hope. I was too scared to do anything about any of it because of the 'security' of a relationship and a job. To some point I truly believed I deserved the misery. Life, luckily, had other plans. It was the hardest time in my adult life but the best changes that could have possibly happened. I am now on a discovery of myself and what brings me real happiness, focusing on my goals and things I want to learn. This is the longest time in my adult life that I have been consistently joyful, and it feels amazing!! I want to use this as a place to document my thoughts and ideas, and as a creative outlet. No one will probably ever read this so I don't really care!